160+ Best Funny Shrek Quotes From The Movie Shrek

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Shrek donkey quotes
160+ Best Shrek Quotes From The Movie Shrek

Let’s read some famous and funny quotes from the very popular and successful movie, Shrek.


famous shrek quotes


“Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!”

– Donkey


“Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.”

– Donkey


“This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.”

– Donkey


“Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.”

– Shrek


“Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.”

– Donkey


“No! I’m an ogre! You know, “Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Doesn’t that bother you?”

– Shrek


“Wow. Let’s do that again.”

– Donkey


“Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.”

– Captain of Guards


“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.”

– Donkey


“Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?”

– Donkey


“That would be my home.”

– Shrek


“Y’know, me too. That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence…”

– Donkey


“He hooffed unt he poooffed unt he… signed an eviction notice.”

– Little Pig


“Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.”

– Magic Mirror


“Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?”

– Shrek


“I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.”

– Donkey


“Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

– Lord Farquaad


“What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona “One of a kind.”

– Shrek


“Eat me.”

– Gingerbread Man


short quotes from shrek


“C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.”

– Donkey


“Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?”

– Donkey


“Can I stay with you? Please?”

– Donkey


“Of course.”

– Shrek


“Really?”

– Donkey


“NO.”

– Shrek


“Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve Mastered the Stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.”

– Donkey


“Sure it’s big enough… but look at the location.”

– Shrek


“If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Fleabag quotes that relate to every aspect of your day-to-day life.”

– Unknown


“Wow, that was really scary and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath STINKS.”

– Donkey


“Ogres are like onions.”

– Shrek


“Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.”

– Donkey


“And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.”

– Donkey


“Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.”

– Shrek


“Yeah, right, brimstone, don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn’t no brimstone and it didn’t come off no stone neither.”

– Donkey


“Don’t forget to also read these Uncle Iroh quotes celebrating his endless wisdom.”

– Unknown


“Little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?”

– Shrek


“Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…”

– Shrek


“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkeyfly!”

– Shrek


famous shrek inspirational quotes


“You go in there and tell her how you feel.”

– Shrek


“Well, I have to save my ass.”

– Shrek


“Oh, would you look at that.”

– Shrek


“That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.”

– Shrek


“Yeah, right before they burst into flame.”

– Shrek


“Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.”

– Shrek


“Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?”

– Shrek


“I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”

– Donkey


“Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.”

– Shrek


“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.”

– Donkey


“This is gonna be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles.”

– Donkey


“He hooffed unt he poooffed unt he… signed an eviction notice.”

– Little Pig


“Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

– Lord Farquaad


“Lord Farquaad: Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man.”

– Unknown


“Gingerbread Man: You’re a monster.”

– Shrek


“Before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.”

– Donkey


“Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?”

– Donkey


“Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!”

– Donkey


“C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.

– Donkey


donkey shrek quotes


“Really, it’s rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?”

– Lord Farquaad


“What are you doing in my swamp?”

– Shrek


“Don’t die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!”

– Donkey


“Aright, nobody move. I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it.”

– Donkey


“Oh, this is one of those onion things, isn’t it?

– Donkey


“No, it’s one of those ‘drop it and leave it alone’ things.”

– Shrek


“Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?”

– Shrek


“Because that’s what friends do! They forgive each other!”

– Donkey


“Oh yeah, you’re right, Donkey. I forgive you… For stabbing me in the back!”

– Shrek


“You don’t entertain much, do you?”

– Donkey


“That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence.”

– Donkey


“Ogres are like onions.”

– Shrek


“No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.”

– Shrek


“Little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?”

– Shrek


“Really tall?”

– Donkey


“No. I’m an ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchfork. Doesn’t that bother you?”

– Shrek


“Nope.”

– Donkey


“Really?”

– Shrek


“Really, really. Man, I like you. What’s your name?”

– Donkey


“Shrek: Er, Shrek.”

– Shrek


“You’re so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.”

– Donkey


“See? There you are doing it again, just like you did to Fiona. All she ever did was like you. Maybe even love you.”

– Donkey


“Can I stay with you? Please?”

– Donkey


“Go over there and see if you can find any stairs.”

– Shrek


“Stairs? I thought we was lookin’ for the Princess.”

– Donkey


donkey shrek quotes from the movie


“The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.”

– Shrek


“How do you know that?”

– Donkey


“I read it in a book once.”

– Shrek


“So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?”

– Donkey


“In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.”

– Shrek


“I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.”

– Donkey


“So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?”

– Donkey


“Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?”

– Donkey


“You love this woman don’t ya?”

– Donkey


“Then you gotta try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap.”

– Donkey


“No, I’m just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a boiling lake of lava!”

– Donkey


“Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.”

– Donkey


“Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.”

– Donkey


“But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not going out there by myself.”

– Donkey


“Oh and it is lovely. You know, you’re really quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget.”

– Donkey


“And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin’ outta my butt that day!”

– Donkey


“And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like?”

– Princess Fiona


“What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.”

– Princess Fiona


“By night one way, by day another, This shall be the norm, Until you find true love’s first kiss, Then take love’s true form.”

– Princess Fiona


“You didn’t slay the dragon?”

– Princess Fiona


shrek movie quotes you must read


“But this isn’t right. You’re meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying -that’s what all the other knights did.”

– Princess Fiona


“The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.”

– Princess Fiona


“What kind of a knight are you?”

– Princess Fiona


“But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

– Princess Fiona


“Please. I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.”

– Princess Fiona


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